


Nothingness

by dragonshost



Category: Bleach
Genre: F/M, based largely on Unmasked, can be read platonically, can't imagine there's much else to do in Hueco Mundo, lots of existential thinking, slight one-sided Ichigo/Orihime mention, that's what she gets for dragging me back into my dead otp, this isn't very shippy overall, written with the express purpose of making my buddy's soul bleed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-27
Updated: 2016-10-27
Packaged: 2018-08-27 08:01:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8393587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonshost/pseuds/dragonshost
Summary: There is nothing in you, and in me.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Original Prompt: "Promise me you'll stay + Ulquihime make me cry"

He was sleeping again, or as close to it as he was capable of. It was no stranger a sight the second time as the first had been. His chest rose and fell, just slightly. As if he breathed out of necessity, rather than ingrained habit that not even death could break. Orihime wasn't sure any of the other arrancar noticed that they breathed, either. The Hollows certainly didn't.

She knelt beside the Espada, and watched him for a time. Only when he was like this was she free to do so, without his keen, unnerving eyes returning her stare.

Ulquiorra would ask every time he caught her gaze lingering. What was it she was hoping to see, in his eyes? Empathy? Something human to connect with? He called her foolish for even trying, and then he'd ask her that all-too familiar question.

 _"_ _Are you afraid of me?"_

She wasn't. She really, truly wasn't.

His eyes though… they did frighten her. She felt like if she stared into those tranquil depths too long, they'd reflect back something she didn't want to see.

It was peaceful, watching Ulquiorra like this. It wasn't the same as when she'd watched Ichigo. Her insides had been coiled too tight, wound up almost to the point of breaking. Too afraid of Ichigo waking up, and stopping what she had to do to save them. Too nervous at his closeness, her feelings threatening to burst. With Ulquiorra she was careful too - she didn't want him to catch her watching. But it was different than what she'd felt with Ichigo.

Orihime cradled her arms on the edge of the couch, her hair spooling around her - the only color in this place. Aside from Ulquiorra's all-seeing eyes.

For the first time, watching him now, she thought to wonder about why she wasn't afraid of him, despite her wariness for his eyes. He had terrified her in the park, and again when he threatened the lives of her friends.

So why not now? What was different?

She wondered if it was because of the knowledge of where she stood with the arrancar. No second guessing on his motivations, no questions of affection. No hidden loyalties. Ulquiorra was straightforward. He did not care for her. No one in this place did. But unlike others... he did not hate her, either. Orihime had been on the opposite end of that many times before; she knew what it looked like, what the signs were. None of it existed inside of the green-eyed monster that watched over her.

Her gaze drifted to the hole just below his neck. Such an odd place for a Hollow hole. The place where the chain of life connected a soul to a body. In all of the Hollows she'd encountered in Karakura Town, their holes had all been in the same place - the center of the chest bone. It was that way for most of the lost and drifting dead as well; as it had been for her, too. Then again, Ulquiorra's wasn't the strangest amongst the Espada. Grimmjow's was right through his stomach, after all.

Did that mean something, though? Was there rhyme and reason behind it? Orihime did not know enough about the arrancars to venture a guess, and did not know them well enough on a personal level, either.

Ulquiorra stirred for a fraction of a second, and Orihime's breath stilled. After a moment, when it appeared that he was still deep in slumber, she released it. Then she took up her observation again.

This time, her sight settled on the remains of his helmet - his mask.

Hollow's masks… huh. The white substance that burst from where their chain had once been, that coated their faces to protect their uncontrollable _id_. To protect it against the world. To hide it.

She remembered Sora's mask falling away, the face of her dear brother revealed in all his pain, his agony, and his despair.

Take away a Hollow's mask, and their face - their true self - would be revealed to the world.

What did it mean for arrancar, that they removed their masks _voluntarily?_ Choosing to expose the most vulnerable parts of themselves? Of their souls?

Vulnerability was not something she could see in Ulquiorra, though. Orihime couldn't see where his real self lay. He was a blank, empty slate. There was nothing to distinguish him, nothing for him beyond following the orders of those more powerful. He didn't seem to care for more.

He was the essence of nothingness.

Something clicked in Orihime's head. It wasn't like a lightbulb going off; it wasn't a lightning strike of inspiration. No this was… something sliding into place, like a foot into a slipper.

She knew, now. Orihime knew. Why she was afraid of her reflection in Ulquiorra's eyes.

What she saw, deep in those emerald orbs... was nothing at all.

Just as she could not see him... he did not see her. Ulquiorra could not see who she really was.

There was a time, once, when Orihime could not either. After Sora, her only true family, died. When she went so far beyond pain, beyond where even sadness could touch her. A time when she felt… nothing at all.

A blank slate.

Just like Ulquiorra.

When she looked in Ulquiorra's eyes, she saw a fragment of who she used to be. Before Tatsuki. Before Ichigo.

And that scared her.

Orihime stood, and walked to the window. She didn't want to caught watching him this time. He'd just lecture her about trying to make a human out of him again.

The thought brought a hint of a smile to her face, as she surveyed the white dunes and crescent moon in Hueco Mundo's sky.

How silly of him.

Arrancar were Hollows, and Hollows were made of human souls. Even the Menos were just souls - so many souls all crammed together.

How silly of Ulquiorra, to think that he would ever escape being human.

Orihime fancied that she could hear them, the hundreds upon hundreds of souls that made up Ulquiorra. It was as if they called to her. Begging to be released. Hollows were not monsters - not evil. They were just... people whom no one had come to save.

Silently, she promised them that she would stay. That she would erase Ulquiorra's nothingness.

She wouldn't be afraid of his eyes any longer.

* * *

_There is nothing in you, and in me._


End file.
